Meet the Feebles (1989)

To Pravin, the man who issued this challenge, you sir have my great respect. When Netflix delivered me the seemingly harmless red envelope, I had no idea what I was up against. Directed by Peter Jackson the label declared. "This will be no problem", I thought, as the Lord of the Rings trilogy is in my top 20 list.

Uncle, uncle, uncle. I can't take it, I give in. I thought years of watching Mystery Science Theater had given my mind thick enough callouses to survive any movie, no matter how bad. Meet the Feebles has broken my spirit. The Feebles are a Vegas-like review done by over sized quasi-muppets. The film follows the animal puppet characters drama in and around their show. By nature, I don't have anything against life sized, furry puppets. I do have issues with them depicting vulgar and disgusting acts of sex, drug use, and violence. Every pointless scene is filled with childish shock gags and moronic jokes. Normally, dick and fart jokes are my bread and butter but not in this movie. I guess I don't like to mix my Jim Henson with my South Park.

In my first viewing attempt, principal was the only thing that stopped me from ripping out the DVD, throwing it on the ground, and burning it in some kind of Jimi Hendrix ritual. Checking the time before I pushed stop on the remote revealed that only eight minutes of ninety had elapsed. Eventually, I developed a plan to beak it down into fifteen minute increments spread out over a few days which became weeks which became months. Over two years have passed and in the spirit of the new year, I'm going to quit this unhealthy behavior. Let the record stand that the first movie to beat me is Meet the Feebles.

0 stars out of 5