Kabluey (2007)

A douchey looser shows up to help watch his brother's devilish kids while he is fighting in Iraq. His unsatisfying life starts to change when he dons a giant blue suit to make extra money.

Writer, director, and star, Scott Prendergast, was on the Sound of Young America pitching this movie when I first heard about it. Listen to the podcast here:



When the big red Netflix envelope appeared in the mailbox, I had all but forgotten this movie. Over all it is an uplifting independent film that has a surprisingly high profile cast including: Christine Taylor, Chris Parnell, and Lisa Kudrow.

2.5 stars out of 5

Cannibal! The Musical (1996)

Before there was South Park, there was Cannibal! The Musical. Trey Parker's CU Boulder's film school project. The story is based on the true tale of Alfred Packer and his fellow miners trapped in the Rocky Mountains for the winter. When only Alfred emerges, people start to ask questions.

The story is lame, acting is pretty bad, and special effects are downright cheesy but none of this makes the movie any less enjoyable. What really sticks with me about this film is how catchy the songs are. They stick to the roof of your brain for months, maybe even years. To my surprise you can grab all of the songs online. The trick to watching this movie is finding a copy. Netflix seems to have taken it out of rotation but you can stream it to your computer in the "Watch Instantly" section. If money is no object then check out the 13th Anniversary Edition available on Amazon. If you can get your hands on an actual disc, check out the commentary track. It is a shining example of why business and booze don't mix. Have a shpadoinkle day!

3 stars out of 5

Team America: World Police (2004)

Three words on this one, America Fuck Yah! So begins my three part series on Trey Parker and Matt Stone (aka the South Park guys).

If you haven't seen this movie by now, then you probably won't--that's fine. If you have only watched it once, I recommend you watch it again. I can guarentee you'll like it better the second and third time. It just starts growing on you until you find yourself standing in front of a urinal singing, "I'm ronry, so ronry...".

Trey and Matt's original idea was to remake Armageddon shot for shot which they already thought was funny (Nick and I agree) but with low tech puppets. Due to legal problems with the studio that owns the film, they gave up on the idea. Holding on to the puppet idea, they decided to do a Thunderbird'ish action movie. By the end they agreed they would 1) never work with puppets again 2) never do an action movie. I'm glad they persevered through this one.

"Great job, team. Head back to base for debriefing and cocktails." - Spottswoode

3.5 stars out of 5

Watchmen (2009)

It's been over a year and half since my last post (a lot less time for Armageddon Blows in college than there was in high school), but it's spring break, Watchmen is in theaters, and I had to come back.

Now hitting theaters is the film adaptation of what has been hailed as the "most celebrated graphic novel of all-time" and one of TIME Magazine's "100 Greatest English Novels of the 20th Century," Alan Moore's Watchmen. However, a year ago I had never heard of it (times have a-changed since then). Initially, I remember being very confused by its weird trailer before The Dark Knight last July. Then I became more and more intrigued by Watchmen when I saw a friend of mine reading it as the film's release date neared. I finally bit the bullet, shelled out the $20, and bought the graphic novel last month - a bargain. Then I read it ferociously, planning my homework schedule around Watchmen (I'd reward myself: 1 Logic assignment finished meant I could read 1 chapter, etc), and went on to completely geek about it with my brother (and fellow AB contributor), Nick, since he's read it as well in the past month. As a recently converted Watchmen fanboy scouring YouTube to find every Watchmen video possible, my anticipation for the movie in recent weeks has been immense.

The world of Watchmen takes place in an alternate history of the United States in 1985 with the Cold War at its most critical point; the "Doomsday Clock" is at five minutes to midnight. Costumed adventurers once fought crime in the streets, without special powers (with the exception of Dr. Manhattan who was involved in a freak scientific accident that turned him into a virtual God, and the United States' greatest deterrent against the Soviets). However, at the time of the film, costumed adventuring has been outlawed and only one remains: Rorschach, a sociopath who remains committed to fighting the crime, immorality and corruption in the world (even if he's the only one still willing to do it). That is until Rorschach discovers the death of a fellow adventurer, The Comedian, causing all the Watchmen to rediscover their past. What follows is a complex conspiracy involving attempted assassinations, false accusations, framed murders, and much more as World War III and the nuclear holocaust approaches.

As a film, Watchmen is not an average superhero movie. The villains try to do good, the heroes can be awful, and who is right can be argued from both sides. It's an incredibly elaborate story that honors its source material like few other film adaptations. Director Zack Snyder (of 300 fame) obviously loves Moore's novel and cares about not offending the novel's dedicated fan base. Sure there are some necessary changes made to make the film fit into its almost three hour running time and one major change that was required to not alienate and bewilder a wider audience (fans of the novel know exactly what I'm talking about), but, in my opinion, that change works perfectly. The film follows the novel so closely that I can see how it may seem dense or confusing to an unfamiliar audience member, so be prepared.

I found this movie to be incredibly entertaining. It was amazing to see so many memorable moments from the novel come to life on screen. I can only imagine what it must have been like for Watchmen's most devoted fans to see it after waiting 20 years for a Watchmen movie. Watchmen is a fascinating story filled with complex characters who take the term "superhero" to a place we've rarely seen them before, exciting action with many moments of brutal violence, awesome special effects, and messages leaving you wondering what it really means to sacrifice and do the right thing.

I highly recommend seeing Watchmen (provided you don't get squeamish from nudity or violence). It will definitely twist whatever expectations you have for a "superhero" movie into something completely different. There isn't quite anything like Watchmen.

However, I cannot stress enough that reading the graphic novel can only make your viewing more enjoyable. Not only will it be easier to follow the complex plot, but you will have so much more background knowledge and appreciation for the Watchmen world. I've taken AP English in high school, English Lit. courses in college and read many "classics," and I can say without hesitation or hyperbole that Watchmen ranks up there as one of the best pieces of literature I have ever read. I read it once before the movie and again after in a span of three days before I saw the movie again. And I look forward to future readings and finding out even more subtleties in the amazing story of Watchmen.

4/5 (I knocked off a little bit because I can understand how non-fanboys may not be as enthralled by the film)

as for the graphic novel, 5/5 (I don't think Armageddon Blows allows me to go any higher, otherwise I most definitely would)

Slumdog Millionaire (2008)

"Who wants to be a mill-in-air?" So asks the the host of the Indian version of the hit game show "Who Wants to Be a Millionaire?" to unlikely contestant, Jamal Malik, an orphaned product of India's 3rd world slums, and hero of the exhilirating new film,"Slumdog Millionaire." My favorite movie of 2008. (Tied w/ The Dark Knight, but totally different)


Danny Boyle's excellent "Slumdog Millionaire" tell the story of two young boys, Jamal and Salim Malik, and their female friend, Latika, as they grow up and find their own paths to survival and success from just about the worst of situations. In the process one boy attempts finds true and devoted love, while the other attemps to find his redemption. It is vibrant, exciting, scarry, fun, funny, and moving; in a word brilliant.

The movie is centered around Jamal Malik, now a young man, played by Dev Patel, who is having unexpected success on "Who Wants to Be A Millionaire?" The game show itself, as well as his interrogation due to his success on the show, is the structural foundation, from which the rest of the story unfolds and is built upon. Each question leads to a different episode in the young man's life, and explains how he got to where he is at that day. These episodes lead chronologically up through time to the tension filled finale', where the biggest reward, or loss, may or may not be the million dollars. It is a bold method by Boyle, but one that works brilliantly and gives the two-hour movie a brisk pace that keeps the viewer at rapt attention throughout.

Another bold method of the director is the movie's look. The visual style is one of the best aspects of the film. It is bold and interesting, however, it never seems to be misplaced. Unlike many other movies that use stylized cinematography, it does not seem to be done simply as way to draw attention to itself, but in fact, is integral to the story. Other than the game-show center, the movie is the memory of the protagonist. Often what is remembered by the human mind is not the experience as it actually happened, but flashes and highlights of that experience. These flashes of memory may or may not be exactly what happened, but stick in the mind because of the hightened sensation from the actual experience. This is what the Danny Boyle's visual style brings to the story of the two youths and their girlfriend, as they steal, scam, and charm to survive in their downtrodden lives. It is a flash, a moment, a color, a smell, a sensation that brings to life the whole memory of Jamal's youth, and the cinematography and bold visual direction, make you feel as if you are inside Jamal's mind remembering the events as he remembers them, not as an outside observer watching the events as they unfolded in the past. This allows us, as the viewer, to be much more personally invested in the characters of the movie than we otherwise might.

Just like the way "City of God" (another excellent film) was able to show the beauty and life in some of the most dispicable conditions, in that case the slums of Rio de Genaro, "Slumdog Millionaire" does the same for the slums of India. One of the big differences is that "SM," despite several very dark scenes, is on the whole a much more optimistic movie than "COD." Although both are excellent, and if you haven't see "City of God" yet, read Brian's review from March 31st, 2006, as well as the accompaning comments. Then rent and watch the movie.

But back to "Slumdog Millionaire." Underneath the coming of age story, the game-show center, and the illustration of the vitality and beauty of India, "SM" is first and foremost a wonderful love story. Jamal is not on "Who Wants to Be A Millionaire?" for the money, that is the least of his concerns. He is hoping against hope that the love of his life is somewhere out there watching and will recognize him and find him. "SM's" love story, despite having the main characther experience tragedy after tragedy, never succumbs to the negativity, and always remains hopeful. The 'love can conquor all' message has been a common theme for many movies, but what is so great about "SM" is that the message never feels hokey or overtly sentimental, but instead it makes you trully believe that love can indeed, conquor all. It is a wonderful movie on many levels, but the love story is the heart of the movie. Plus the tribute to Bollywood is great! You will bounce out of the theatre feeling hopeful, energized, and exhillerated.

If "Slumdog Millionaire" doesn't win the Oscar for best movie it will be a travesty.

4.5 out of 5 stars!

Meet the Feebles (1989)

To Pravin, the man who issued this challenge, you sir have my great respect. When Netflix delivered me the seemingly harmless red envelope, I had no idea what I was up against. Directed by Peter Jackson the label declared. "This will be no problem", I thought, as the Lord of the Rings trilogy is in my top 20 list.

Uncle, uncle, uncle. I can't take it, I give in. I thought years of watching Mystery Science Theater had given my mind thick enough callouses to survive any movie, no matter how bad. Meet the Feebles has broken my spirit. The Feebles are a Vegas-like review done by over sized quasi-muppets. The film follows the animal puppet characters drama in and around their show. By nature, I don't have anything against life sized, furry puppets. I do have issues with them depicting vulgar and disgusting acts of sex, drug use, and violence. Every pointless scene is filled with childish shock gags and moronic jokes. Normally, dick and fart jokes are my bread and butter but not in this movie. I guess I don't like to mix my Jim Henson with my South Park.

In my first viewing attempt, principal was the only thing that stopped me from ripping out the DVD, throwing it on the ground, and burning it in some kind of Jimi Hendrix ritual. Checking the time before I pushed stop on the remote revealed that only eight minutes of ninety had elapsed. Eventually, I developed a plan to beak it down into fifteen minute increments spread out over a few days which became weeks which became months. Over two years have passed and in the spirit of the new year, I'm going to quit this unhealthy behavior. Let the record stand that the first movie to beat me is Meet the Feebles.

0 stars out of 5

Marley & Me (2008)

See? Our life is just like the movie.

I told Brian that the only thing I really wanted to do during my vacation was see this movie. Because a) I love dogs, and b) I love puppies. I'm also a fan of Owen Wilson, so that made it even better. Marley and Me is based on a book of the same name by John Grogan (bestseller, maybe you've heard of it?) about his life with his dog, Marley. Marley is entitled "the worst dog in the world," but of course goes on to show John (Owen Wilson) and his wife Jenny (Jennifer Aniston) the true meaning of puppy love and devotion. Without giving too much away, Marley (Clyde, plus 21 other dogs) eats various household objects, runs away, jumps, barks, and does lots of other naughty stuff. Much like our dog Tucker. After each episode, though, Marley does something terribly cute and/or helpful (also like Tucker) and John and Jenny realize how much they love and need him. This could have been a sappy movie, and I guess in some ways it is, but it does have a realistic take on marriage and family life. John and Jenny alternately love and hate Marley from the beginning of their marriage through fights, moves, career changes and raising children. It's funny and warm and all 22 dog actors are fantastic and super cute. If you don't have a dog, you'll want one. If you do, you'll want to give your dog a big hug and some cookies as soon as you get home. I gave Tucker and Sadie big, big hugs and got black dog hair all over my new off-white vest, but it was worth it.

4 stars out of 5

The King of Kong (2007)

Why a movie about the 80s arcade game, Donkey Kong?. Why not Pac-Man or Asteroids? General consensus in the video game world is that Donkey Kong is one of the hardest due to the split second timing and general randomness of the jumping and smashing. Come to think of it, I'm not sure I've ever passed more than the first board.

King of Kong follows the true story of two video game gurus, Steve Weibe and Billy Mitchell. The former a likable unemployed family man with time on his hands and the latter an self-assured, business up front / party in the back, arcade game god. The two have an epic and on going battle for the high score on the arcade classic, Donkey Kong. This was an obvious pick for me because of my background with arcade games but to my surprise there is an heartfelt drama between the two competitors that stuck with me months after watching the film.

Go ahead, check the official governing body's website Twin Glaxies to see who holds the high score today--I just did and am not happy. If you like Donkey-Kong, documentaries, or world class mullets--you need to see The King of Kong.

4 stars out of 5.